pancake massacre

It is lunchtime, and therefore okay to take a break and post this.

The title of this post is wildly inappropriate given the appalling situation in Haiti right now. And while I know you're being inundated with ways to help, I don't really know any way out of giving you yet a few more options for helping those whom you've likely been ignoring for your entire life. I'm no expert, but the folks at CharityNavigator.org are. Trust them and give what you can.

And with that footnote out of the way, on to, you know, the important shit. That smirking pile of goop you see above is my first batch of pancakes in months, and my first failed batch in years. The batter was delicious and the final results were edible, but what went wrong? They were nothing like the triceratops-shaped sweetbreads of yesteryear, back when every Sunday was pancake day, and I could afford to spend like $30 a week on groceries. What was the difference?
1) This time, unable to find my secret recipe, I used the Joy of Cooking. Sometimes JoC makes for easy vegan substitutions, but this turned out thin batter. With a little more attention paid, and a few adjustments, I'm sure it would be fine, but it's safe to say that I am lazy and far from details-oriented if it's noon on Sunday and I just woke up.
2) "You know the secret, right?" My roommate insisted that the key to light, fluffy pancakes is to fry them in a shit-ton of oil. Far be it for me to turn down anything deep-fried (I once bought a FryBoy and battered up some Oreos immediately preceding a concert at the campus coffeeshop), but next time I'm going to return to imitating that greatest of pancake artists... Bavaglio. Not too much grease -- it should just add some color.

I once spent a week in the mountains of Spain, helping British ex-pats to crack open almond shells with a rock. Somehow my love of pancakes came up, and one of my hosts exclaimed, "Oh but they're so bad for you, aren't they? They're nothing but flour and sugar! You Americans and your sweets, no wonder everyone's fat!" Well, lady, I'm gonna make pancakes again, and this time they'll have chocolate chips.