Monday, January 18, 2010

pancake massacre

oh boy

It is lunchtime, and therefore okay to take a break and post this.

The title of this post is wildly inappropriate given the appalling situation in Haiti right now. And while I know you're being inundated with ways to help, I don't really know any way out of giving you yet a few more options for helping those whom you've likely been ignoring for your entire life. I'm no expert, but the folks at are. Trust them and give what you can.

And with that footnote out of the way, on to, you know, the important shit. That smirking pile of goop you see above is my first batch of pancakes in months, and my first failed batch in years. The batter was delicious and the final results were edible, but what went wrong? They were nothing like the triceratops-shaped sweetbreads of yesteryear, back when every Sunday was pancake day, and I could afford to spend like $30 a week on groceries. What was the difference?
1) This time, unable to find my secret recipe, I used the Joy of Cooking. Sometimes JoC makes for easy vegan substitutions, but this turned out thin batter. With a little more attention paid, and a few adjustments, I'm sure it would be fine, but it's safe to say that I am lazy and far from details-oriented if it's noon on Sunday and I just woke up.
2) "You know the secret, right?" My roommate insisted that the key to light, fluffy pancakes is to fry them in a shit-ton of oil. Far be it for me to turn down anything deep-fried (I once bought a FryBoy and battered up some Oreos immediately preceding a concert at the campus coffeeshop), but next time I'm going to return to imitating that greatest of pancake artists... Bavaglio. Not too much grease -- it should just add some color.

I once spent a week in the mountains of Spain, helping British ex-pats to crack open almond shells with a rock. Somehow my love of pancakes came up, and one of my hosts exclaimed, "Oh but they're so bad for you, aren't they? They're nothing but flour and sugar! You Americans and your sweets, no wonder everyone's fat!" Well, lady, I'm gonna make pancakes again, and this time they'll have chocolate chips.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010



"I ate cookie dough for breakfast. For dinner, cookies."
"For lunch?"
"For lunch, I had salad. Also cookies."

The ghost represents the cookies that are no longer with us.

Monday, January 11, 2010


2010-01-11 14.48.47_edit0

I feel like crap. I made my breakfast/lunch fairly spicy in the hope that it would allow me to breathe. It did not.

Back to the copy machine.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

New Years Day, 2010


We live in the future now. I thought everyone was lying about it because I still have to take the bus to work every day, but it's true. We're all wandering around in foil caps and eating cupcakes made from vegetables.

This is important: I went to NYC for NYE. Original, right? After some miscalculations, my cohort and I made a strategic decision to sooth our anxiety with vegan pastries from BabyCakes.

Did I eat these for breakfast? No. I ate a bagel with tofu-scallion "cream cheese." But that's not really the point. The point is that I took this photograph with my telephone. And then photoshopped it with my telephone. And uploaded it to Flickr with my telephone. And wrote this post... with my roommate's computer.

Future, guys. Future.